When Dr. Pransky says, "A change of heart will save your marriage", it sounds so simple that it would be easy to be skeptical, but setting that aside for a moment could save you a lot of time, money, and pain.
In The Relationship Handbook George Pransky lays out a commonsensical way to look at relationships and the world that he assures us will make us happier, kinder, and more effective while saving our marriages. (This book was previously titled Divorce Is Not The Answer.)
Dr. Pransky tells us that it is actually quite simple. Not months or years of painfully working through traumas and fights, but basically deciding to do it. A change of heart.
So how do you do that?
By learning a few principles about how our minds work (described in detail along with examples in practice in the Relationship Handbook) and then applying them to our advantage we can get on with our lives without the anger, resentment, and fear that tangle us up.
Too good to be true? Let's hope not.
We know from John Gottman's studies that central to couples staying together and having relationships that work for them is positive sentiment. The people in those relationships that are positive and growing like and trust each other. Gottman is good, but I when it comes to telling how to get to this positive place, I have always been a little disappointed. For me at least, Pransky has succeeded in giving me a better idea of what to do.
Couples can get personal guidance in this from Dr. Pransky and his team at Pransky and Associates in LaConner, Washington.
At their center in this beautiful little town on the saltwater in Washington State, couples and individuals are offered 4 day intensive psycho-educational courses to learn the principles of this approach and to tailor them to their own specific situation, one therapist/teacher/coach per couple or individual. From having visited there and talking with one of the psychologists and hearing Dr. Pransky speak, I can tell you that they are quite careful about who they take into their programs. They note that the nature of the challenges the couple faces are not nearly as important as the willingness of each person to openly consider the possibility of making a change of heart. Apparently, some people are simply not willing to hear. For those who are, the rewards are rich. here.
But if you cannot make it to La Conner to get the course in person, Pransky and Associates have been very generous with what they believe and what they do in the Relationship Handbook.
If a change of heart seems too simple at first, give yourself the gift of reading the whole thing including the case study examples before coming to a final conclusion. It's a bit of a "stealth" message.
Pransky is a bit sparse at times about how a person or a couple actually gets from here to there. There is are resources by other authors and coaches that do a good job of expanding on the basic points of The Relationship Handbook . . . . both the "Save My Marriage Today" e-book/course and Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness do this quite effectively though. (Note:These are affiliate links.)
These authors and coaches provide free e-mail delivered mini-course too so that you can see if the way they go at it has value for you. Like any of these free courses, the doesn't tell you everything (they wouldn't have anything to sell if she did that,) but I found their free courses to be very helpful and quite generous actually. I think it's worth a look.
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